Windows 10 and pain management

I’ve been on morphine for over a year now due to the ridiculous list of surgeries. I’ve been on Windows 10 for a few months–maybe 3, maybe 5 months, maybe more. I’m not sure because of morphine. I have a memory of updating my notebook from Windows 8.1 to 10 resulting in each of my mahjongg games crashing my notebook. I mourned the loss of sound on my notebook as I was being wheeled into the OR for the 6th surgery.

Magically, the notebook decided on its own to download Windows 10 again the next time I fired it up, and the sound returned. The other day the sound disappeared once more and with some fiddling I got the sound back but now the HP Support Assistant exe file has amnesia and the Amd Quickstream has licensing issues. All these issues, including my drugged fugue state, can be found on troubleshooting forums or pharmacology websites. A brilliant but intrinsically vague tool is the compatibility wizard. Incidentally, the wizard has nothing to do with Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, nor does it work for human relationships.

 

“The Wizard of Oz” (Getty Images)

Speaking of amnesia, morphine is notorious for clouding memories (not to be confused with the Cloud). I rely on my roommate (RM) for the details. She’s a gossip addict and a repeat offender. She’s guilty of incessantly flapping her gums, and simultaneous conversation. She’s the perfect person to tell me (and everyone else) what I missed. If I don’t catch it the first time, you can be sure she’ll be repeating it, and it’ll be on Facebook as well. Who needs that Cortana chick?

For those of you who aren’t on a controlled substance and have not updated to Windows 10, Microsoft’s intelligent personal assistant is called Cortana. I would have chosen to name it Bob, using Bill Murray’s voice. Cortana was inspired by the artificial intelligence by the same name in the Halo video game franchise (Microsoft Studios). Human culture is riddled with sentimentality for make-believe, and  fictional AI’s. I’m sure you noticed that Cortana is scantily clad. I’m trying to picture what HAL would be wearing–bell bottoms and Nehru jacket perhaps? * 

Back to me. Morphine acts directly on my central nervous system to decrease the feeling of pain. Morphine is an opiate, the most active substance in the juice (opium) of the seed pods of poppies, that binds to one or more of the opioid receptors in my body. The opioid system controls pain, reward, and addictive behaviors and is thought to be involved in complex social behaviors affecting relationships, such as attachment of an infant to its mother, pair bonding and annoyance with RM.

Florida is trying to overcome its reputation as being America’s capital for prescription drug abuse. Now it’s difficult to obtain prescription narcotics. Doctors have to jump through hoops to write scripts for controlled substances. So many don’t. I recently retained a physician who specializes in pain management. They’re typically trained in anesthesia and/or orthopedics. There are those who don’t write scripts for narcotics but treat the patient holistically. I steer away from those.

Patients who require narcotics to alleviate their pain have to submit to drug testing and provide pharmacy and medical records proving their history of pain. I didn’t have any problem with that. Just gazing at my leg with the scarring of so many surgeries elicited pity from fellow patients in the waiting room. A couple of new patients nearly bolted for the exit until I assured them that my leg wasn’t the handiwork of any of the surgeons there. There were audible sighs of relief.

* HAL 9000: sentient computer (male voice) that controls the systems of the Discovery One spacecraft in the movie “2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)”.
Image of  Jawaharial Nehru, Prime Minister of India 1947 -1964 wearing garment which inspired the Nehru jacket, marketed in USA and Europe in the 1960’s -1970’s. Its popularity continues in India.  Image:  Wikipedia