Windows 10 and pain management

I’ve been on morphine for over a year now due to the ridiculous list of surgeries. I’ve been on Windows 10 for a few months–maybe 3, maybe 5 months, maybe more. I’m not sure because of morphine. I have a memory of updating my notebook from Windows 8.1 to 10 resulting in each of my mahjongg games crashing my notebook. I mourned the loss of sound on my notebook as I was being wheeled into the OR for the 6th surgery.

The return of the excessive gardener?

Well, after six surgeries on my left leg last year–the sixth being in October–I am finally back. Left with a lot of complications from the last surgery, I am only now conscious of my surroundings. Imagine my surprise at the number of changes to WordPress.

I’m back…sort of

 

WHERE DOES IT HURT?

Alive in rehab

Well, I made it through another knee surgery. Recently broke through all the pain pills and noticed where I am. Lovely place and unlike the last, I can smoke outside without a long line of nurses and techs chasing after me.

Off again

In a few hours I’m off to hospital for fourth (4) surgery on my knee, on the same leg as the broken ankle. I’ll be off the air for a few weeks. See you when I get back.  Lucy

 

A dark cloud followeth me

 

 

At least one of these images is not that of a ski boot. It’s not the latest fashion footwear, nor is it a device for strengthening one’s ankle in preparation for “Dancing with the Stars”. It is most decidedly not that freakishly, strappy, astronaut pump that Neil Armstrong would have looked smart wearing for mankind’s first footstep on the Moon and when worn, it makes driving a 2000 5-speed Toyota MR2 Spyder convertible a tad awkward.

Clown shoes

My name is Mike Kandinsky and I manage a carnival. We tour the Midwest, mostly, and parts of Canada. My sidekick is Maude Lemon who used to be the bearded lady. We have a kid together–she’s living with Maude’s Aunt Polly in St. Paul.  Maude shaved and changed careers and now manages a couple of the attractions.

Physics and the English muffin

Look at the size of the muffins in the above image. One could easily make Eggs Benedict for two on those muffin halves. An “Egg McMuffin” would be pure gluttony! I realize it’s difficult to read the caption :  “Pull a Thomas’ English Muffin gently apart with your fingers and you’ll discover…ridges and valleys that toast to a golden perfection….. Thomas’ Promises!”

Bed bugs, Mostly Dead, a stubborn hibiscus, and what about Bob?

Ever have bed bugs? One can pick them up from the gym, a hotel, or even a friend. There’s no cleaner person than RM’s son, “the boy” yet while I was in the skilled nursing facility (aka the home) RM told me the boy had discovered bed bugs in his bedding.

Morning cacophony, ants in my coffee and a frog on my foot

Sometimes you just want a quiet first cup of coffee in the morning, settling into a comfortable chair on your patio. The sun’s just up and you watch Nature in all its summer serenity. Ha! Like that happens….

Morphine, 25 Raisins, and an odd attachment to frogs

Welcome to “Bored in Florida”. Continue reading because I can be humorous. Hey, but it’s a dry humor. 

Hi, Ma, it’s me

 

Rio Grande Zoo Main Entrance by C. Burnett

“Hi, Ma, it’s me.”

“Ellie?”

“No, Ma, your favorite daughter.”

“De De, I was just thinking about you. You finally decided to call me?”

“You know how to dial the phone. You can call me.”

“You never answer and I don’t like talking to that machine.”

“You’re weird, Ma. I sent you a card. Did you like the photos?”

“Oh, I took them to my volunteer job at the Hospital and showed them to all my volunteers. That Roger looks just like a Polar Bear. Some of them thought he was a Polar Bear but I told them he’s my daughter’s Golden Retriever.

Some of my favorite conspiracy theories

Apollo 11 Moon Walk

Just the other day I needed a photo of the first moon walk. First attempt, using the world’s favorite search engine, and the FBI’s as well, I was given images of Michael Jackson moonwalking. Okay, maybe I should have mentioned the year 1969 and  Neil Armstrong.

Martha and the vandals

“What the…? Will you look at that, Randal? Come here and look what someone did to my sculpture!”

“What? Looks the same to me, Martha.”

“Call the Police, Randal!”

“It was plain vandalism, Officer Neoapollotano. I want fingerprints and I want the vandals found! They took Randal’s obsidian arrowhead he made in graduate school. He could make stone tools like a…Neandertal.”

“Can you put a value on the arrowhead…?”

“You are missing the point, Officer. What about the vandalism?”

“I understand, Mrs. Warwickii. I would be upset, too, if I found…THAT in my yard before I had my morning coffee.”

Friday Fictioneers
Photo prompt: copyright Douglas M. Macilroy
Word Count: 100

Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers.

Mostly dead tree, a knee brace, lizards as living ornaments and yes, we have bananas

When I returned from nearly 2 months at the “skilled nursing facility”, I discovered to my surprise that Mostly Dead Tree is still alive and birds were nesting in the dense foliage of the tree’s remains. Mostly Dead is only half a tree and resembles some sort of distorted bonsai tree.

Excuse me, is this Club Med?

Here’s a little something I wrote in the beginning of March at my stay at what we used to call a “Nursing Home”. It’s not surprising that I didn’t publish it. It was just around that time that the antibiotics were taking their toll on me and I was losing weight at an alarming rate…like that’s a bad thing.

I’m Back

I’m  back from the hell known as Total knee replacement which began in January.  Three surgeries and  seven weeks in rehab hospital and I am finally home but facing another surgery.  More on that soon.

My knee and I again and again

Once upon a time in a galaxy so very far away, I ran away from my problems because I had two very excellent knees and in space you never hear anyone scream.

My knee and I

Okay. I thought it would be easier the second time around. HA!!!  I’m still in hospital. Surgery of my left knee for a total knee replacement went well.  However in rehab I tore a ligament and had another surgery. I’m back in rehab but.I’m in an immovable brace with a no weight bearing restriction. Hope to return home in another week.

Una vez un aquila

I heard the eagles before I saw them. They typically fly over the neighborhood, over my house, predominately, and they’re whisper quiet, coasting on the air currents. Today they were on a mission. They were chasing some poor devil of a crow who flew through my backyard at breakneck speed with three eagles in hot pursuit.

Zombie dating

Let’s talk about  zombie dating services. Yes, there is such a thing as zombies dating–virtually. However, there is no such thing as a zombie–not in reality. But, then, one has to remember all those Star Trek Conventions one went to over the years dressed in various Star Fleet uniforms and then zombie dating becomes understandable.

Garden requiem in excelsis

Surely you should be dead by now hibiscus

 

So this is another Florida winter!  After days of temperatures in the 70’s F (20’s C), having to turn on the AC (mostly because RM has been suffering hot flashes), it is early morning, at the time of writing, and 59 F (15 C). I am cold but I dare not turn on the furnace for fear it would wake my roommates, and I do enjoy my quiet early mornings.

An Actor’s Tale: chasing Chaucer

Hurrah! The conclusion of An Actor’s Tale is finally here. And you who have waited with bated breath for the finale. It only appears long. It is not nearly as long as a game show or that last leg of a drive home when you can barely keep your eyes open.

Dirt for Christmas, a machete vs. mostly dead, and other indignities

I slightly recognized the holidays this year, which is unusual for me. But, in light of my new knee the relief has put me in a better frame of mind. What do I mean by “recognize”? Presents, gifts, bounty–whatever you want to call them–I bought everyone gifts.

Happy New Year from the Sunshine State of Mind

The Space Station crew gets to celebrate New Year’s Eve 16 times. Luckily no one on board is Aztec and has to celebrate the New Fire ceremony which would require human sacrifice and, of course, fire.

The last moral man

“I’m telling you this story because you are the only person I can trust not to judge me…

I was a soldier in the Russian Army. We were in a country which we were fighting since 1795, when Mother Russia was an Empire.

So this is Christmas

The witch and the dragon

 

Today he felt better than he did all week–having cleansed himself in an ocean of blood. The demons were gone–perhaps never to return. That in itself was well worth the effort. He could hear the screams of rancor and derision–spitting on his countenance in a fury of profanity…oh, they were angry.

An Actor’s Tale: if wishes were Porsches

The following tale is the fourth in a series about the misadventure of a talented, Shakespearian actor. This chapter is in response to a flash fiction challenge and can stand by itself. Links to chapters 1-3 can be found in the “Related” section at the end of this post.

The importance of being obsessive

“The Desk Set” (1957) with Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn

My Mother was a Werewolf

The high school I went to was a Nun-run college prep school, hence, the term, “preppy”.  Back then Connecticut was loaded with private prep schools and if you were from Connecticut all young adults were considered to be “preppies”.