“Stewart are you in here?”
“What do you want, Whitney? Make it fast, I’ve got to take the Ferrari out for a spin. I tightened up a few things and I want to make sure they don’t come loose.”
“What things? Like what?”
“Whitney, if I told you, you wouldn’t understand. Let’s just say it had something to do with the steering distributor system, okay?”
“There is no steering distributor system, Stewart, just steering or distributor. If the cap’s not on the distributor or on tight then you don’t get any juice…”
“Fine. You know, uh, fine…”
“Don’t try pulling the wool over my eyes, Stewart. You just want to go cruising in my new sports car and you think you have to make up shit to do it. Am I right?”
“I’m taking the car out, so back off Whitney.”
“Like hell you are. The car is in Mother’s name. She bought it for me. You take that car out and I will have Mother call Sheriff Gainesfield, and you know how much he loves my Mother. You have ten seconds to hand me those keys or I dial Mother.
“You know what, Whitney? Here, take the frigging car and shove it. You’re a real piece of work, Whitney. A real piece of work.”
“Thank you. I’ll see to dinner.”
“Stewart, it’s almost time for dinner, so go wash up please and open a wine–you choose.”
“What is this, Whitney?”
“Looks like divorce papers, Stewart. Hurry and get yourself a lawyer and show him the papers, and sign them, and then get the hell out of my house. I understand Josephine does pro bono. She is one of your lovers.”
“She’s one of your lovers, too. What about couples counseling or a separation?”
“Don’t insult my intelligence, Stewart. We both want out of this fiasco. You want half my money and I won’t give you diddly. You know why? Everything is in Mother’s name. All of it. Time for you to get a job, Stewart.”
“Listen, just let me have the new Ferrari and I’ll sign and I won’t bother contesting. How’s that for a deal?”
“You may have the Caddy, and nothing more.”
“Then no divorce. You’ll have to carry me forever, baby. You do whore around a lot but you will always be in my stable–to use as I see fit.”
“Oh, Stewart…I love it when you talk that way.”
The next day, Whitney was at a DAR luncheon with her mother. Meanwhile, Stewart had an accident in the Cadillac and was rushed to the hospital. The steering on the Caddy went out and Stewart lost control. Further investigation at the Kenner home by Sheriff Gainesfield, found that the brakes had been tampered with on Whitney’s new 1958 Ferrari. Had Whitney’s mother not sent her car for her daughter, Whitney would have driven the sports car to the luncheon–a treacherous course down Ten Mile Hill….
Stewart Ulysses Kenner, in a plea bargain obtained by his lawyer, Josephine Baynor-Bouvier, was sentenced to 2 to 10 years at the Louisiana State Penitentiary for attempted murder of his wife, Whitney Sutton-Kenner, per Judge Emmitt Peyton Landry, Whitney’s enduring lover and her late father’s legal partner. Whitney was awarded her divorce decree and after a suitable waiting period, Whitney Hampden-Sutton and one of her more determined lovers, District Attorney Chance Hawthorne Sevier, announced their engagement. All of Whitney’s lovers were in anxious attendance at the engagement party. It was “the” social event of the summer season.
Many thanks to Ms Thain for hosting Flash Fiction Challenge–the best 500 word challenge in the blogosphere.