ICBMs grow on trees

US ICBM

My next door neighbor is harboring a palm tree that I’m almost sure is growing an ICBM.  At first I mistakenly identified the palm tree as a Christmas palm but now I can say with a confidence of + or – 15% that the palm is a Queen,  Syagrus romanzoffiana.

The Queen palm can reach a height of 50 ft (15 m) but will actually need replacing every 10-15 years.  Depending on our country’s need for ICBMs, taking advantage of the growing missiles on the Queen palm may not be suitable for the next world war we’re not going to have.  A lot depends upon how often a missile can be harvested.  Below I have images of the missile over a period of a month.  You can see how relatively quickly the palm can grow the missile.  But will it be quick enough?

12-05-2013

12-19-2013

1-09-2014

I haven’t actually talked with my neighbor about the growing missile.  I’ve spoken with his wife before but he just grunts at me in passing. Funny, I only know their names from the times they yelled to each other, about the dog running down the street, or the dog falling in the pool, or the dog tearing up her plants, etc., I’m afraid. He has an uncommon first name:  “Jarhead,”  and his wife is “Miss Knowitall”.

So, I’m thinking perhaps they’re growing the ICBM for their own purposes. I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel more comfortable knowing that a private citizen has the ICBM rather than the growing of missiles all over the tropics by the government. As always, I will update you on the situation as the need arises.